The Time Senator Dianne Feinstein Told Our Story, and What She Meant to Us

I woke up today to the sad news that Senator Dianne Feinstein had passed, and got several texts from thoughtful friends who remembered that she meant a lot to me specifically: Senator Feinstein did more than any other politician to bring Grace’s story and my circumstances to light, and she’ll be an important person to me for the rest of my life.

One of my very earliest published pieces in my advocacy was an Opinion piece published in the Washington Post in March of 2017. It felt like an enormous honor and also terrifying; it was by far the largest publication I’d ever been a part of.

2 weeks later, Senator Feinstein mentioned my Op-Ed in the Washington Post as part of her opening remarks of Justice Neil Gorsuch’s Senator confirmation hearing for the Supreme Court of the US.

Her remarks are transcribed here:

Two weeks ago, the Washington Post ran an Op-ed written by a woman who desperately wanted to have a baby. She described how she and her husband went to great lengths for four years trying to get pregnant and were thrilled when they finally succeeded. Tragically, after her 21-week check-up, they discovered her daughter had multi-cystic dysplastic kidney disease. They were told by three separate doctors that her condition was 100% fatal. And that the risk to the mother was seven-fold if she carried her pregnancy to term. The mother described their excruciating decision and the unforgiving process the couple endured to get the medical care they needed. The debate over Roe v. Wade and the right to privacy, ladies and gentlemen, is not theoretical. In 1973, the court recognized a woman's fundamental and constitutional right to privacy. That right guarantees her access to reproductive health care. In fact, the Supreme Court has repeatedly upheld Roe's core finding, making it settled law for the last 44 years. I ask unanimous consent, Mr. Chairman, to enter into the record the 14 key cases where the Supreme Court upheld Roe’s core holding and the total 39 decisions where it has been reaffirmed by the Court. If these judgements when combined do not constitute super precedent, I don’t know what does…Roe ensured that women and their doctors will decide what is best for their care not politicians.

I was in a work meeting when it happened; my phone started blowing up with texts from people who were watching the hearing and recognized my story. It was surreal, anxiety-inducing, and most of all, it instilled me with hope: she used Grace’s and my story to shine a light on how important abortion access was, and how much was at stake with anti-abortionist Gorsuch being debated for SCOTUS confirmation: he could have the vote that undid the abortion access protections instilled by Roe v Wade.

Of course, we all know how that went: Gorsuch was confirmed after saying he respected Roe as precedent, and then voted against it in the end, as we all feared and said he would.

But Senator Feinstein gave me an enormous gift that hasn’t diminished in its value even with that outcome. She gave me hope that ordinary citizens can have a vast reach and impact. My goals in storytelling and advocacy have always been to reduce abortion stigma and to improve policy, and her sharing my story at that time gave it an enormous public stage - indeed, making it part of congressional record, and thus it’ll outlive my lifetime - and gave a voice to all of the other families that encounter our circumstances.

I got to go to day 4 of the hearings and meet Senator Feinstein later that week, and it will always remain one of the most important days of my life. I got to meet her and thank her for sharing my story (as well as Senator Chuck Grassley, who was very kind as well). I got to watch the hearing and observe American democratic traditions.

Senator Feinstein allowed my experience - that of a normal, middle class, working American mom who received the worst possible news about my wanted pregnancy - to be shared on a national stage, and in place where it arguably had the greatest chance to be included in policy outcomes. In a world where it’s hard to feel like my work and efforts matter, for a moment, I felt like they did. I’ll never forget that. Senator Feinstein gave me an immeasurable gift, and I grieve her passing.