I met a person I’d never met before at a small Halloween gathering last month, and we conversed a few times throughout the night about costumes (me: a generic black cat, him: a brilliantly executed “broken” supply chain), and eventually got on to deeper topics like the Chapelle special, vaccinations (and the populations left behind by them), and when federal vs state laws make more sense. I actually love conversations like these more and more since it’s been harder and harder both personally and globally to act like there are spaces politics don’t inhabit. This very website exists because politics were unnecessarily interwoven in the most personal decision of my life.

I brought up Grace and my later abortion as part of the conversation, and he started telling me about another story he had heard on the radio about a woman that had a later abortion. He had had to pull over on the side of the road because he was so upset hearing it. The woman had had a fatal fetal anomaly impact her pregnancy and she’d chosen to end the pregnancy.

It took me a few seconds to realize he was describing my own Moth story, and then a few more moments to convey that, and our resulting tearful hug was one of the most impactful moments of my work in this space of storytelling and advocacy. I sometimes get notes of solidarity and appreciation for my story, but I also watch laws pass like the one in Texas, and testify to rude, dismissive and emotionless legislators. It is hard to feel like any of this makes a difference, which is so hard because it’s made such an cataclysmic difference in my own life.

But this interaction with this very kind man made a huge difference to both of us, I think. Having someone tell me (unknowingly) about my own story in such a raw and emotional way was a privilege and a gift. I got to see Grace making a difference in action.

And looking back, it is funny to consider a black cat hugging a broken supply chain, both full of emotion.

***

Tomorrow (11/17) is the 5 year anniversary of Grace’s ultrasound - the one where we learned she had a fatal disease and would never result in the living, thriving, growing baby we’d dreamed of, and that we had very little time to make a decision about what to do with that earth-stopping information.

My Moth story allows me to talk all about this - what the day was like and how it felt. It’d be a great honor if you listened and let us take up a little space in your day and life.

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