On The Passing of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

9 days after Trump was elected in 2016, we found out at 21 weeks of pregnancy that our desperately wanted and tried for daughter, Grace Pearl, had a fatal fetal anomaly. An abortion was our best option to give her a peaceful passing, and preserve my own health. The process to then get that abortion was one of the worst experiences of my life, full of judgement, condemnation and hoops.

I remember thinking how terrible it was that Trump had just won - had that not been the case, I wouldn't be so terrified about what the future held in terms of reproductive rights. He already had one Supreme Court justice nominee in front of him, after Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell dismissed Obama's nominee, Merrick Garland, because it was an election year.

A few months later, I wrote an Op Ed for the Washington Post, which Senator Dianne Feinstein referenced in her opening remarks of Justice Gorsuch's Supreme Court confirmation hearing. I got to go and be in the room where his qualifications were debated. It felt like such a privilege to be in one of the rooms where things of this magnitude are debated and decided. The enormity of the decision, and of the power a Supreme Court Justice has fully settled in for me.

Then Kennedy retired and Kavanaugh was confirmed despite showing a temperament not befitting a Supreme Court Justice when faced with a compelling testimony regarding a sexual assault he allegedly committed.

And now Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has passed away. I hate that I feel like I can't even fully grieve the loss of such a champion of rights and equality because I knew what was coming next: McConnell has already said he'll push Trump's nominee through (an act of astounding hypocrisy after what he did to Obama and Merrick Garland, who was nominated 237 days before the election vs the 47 we are at right now) and I fear we will have lost the Supreme Court for a generation.

If you aren't super into politics, you likely aren't reading this, but please understand that this affects all of us. My personal cause after losing Grace is clearly abortion rights, and it is a very, very real possibility that Roe v. Wade will be overturned or dismantled. I never thought I'd have an abortion, so I didn't worry about this too much back in the day. Little did I know....

And the Supreme Court touches all of our lives in big and small ways, and those of our loved ones.

I detest that we have a Senate Majority leader that won't even let us grieve before acting so hypocritically and opportunistically.

I am sickened by our president who will very likely nominate a justice that will further dismantle our rights while never having to experience the consequences himself.

I am devastated for myself and all of my fellow advocates, fighting such an uphill battle to ensure rights for ourselves and those that are far less fortunate than we are to STILL have a few old white men in their ivory towers make decisions deeply affecting us. You all know who you are, and I sit with you right now.

I feel like November 2016 all over again. The night Trump so unexpectedly won, and I knew people that I loved and loved me were gloating with joy, despite what so many of us worried he'd do. And then 9 days later when I went through the hardest time of my life with that feeling still so fresh, the stakes grew. And now, nearly 4 years later, Trump has beyond delivered on all of my worries and concerns, and is likely about to deliver on the tools to fully dismantle so many rights that I have worried so much about.

I will eventually dust myself and carry on with my work, but for anyone both grieving the loss of Justice Ginsburg specifically as well a Supreme Court we felt we could count on to respect precedent, I'm with you in that space.