New Op-Ed: Any abortion initiative on Missouri ballot must end political interference in medical care

It’s likely that you’ve seen a lot of news around abortion ballot initiatives that have been put in front of voters, allowing them to vote on abortion access protections. Abortion rights have been supported resoundingly in states like Michigan, Kansas and most recently Ohio. They are being pursued in other state like Missouri, Arizona and my home state: Missouri. These aren’t all straightforward however, and I've wrestled with what to say and to what extent.

At the end of the day, I would want to show Grace Pearl I fought for her as hard as I could. I want to be able to show my living daughter the same.

I realized that I wasn’t going to go wrong standing up for myself and the many other later abortion seekers who are being left out of all but one versions of these initiatives in favor of a potential “compromise” in the form of a viability ban with politicians who have shown us again and again that they will abuse their power any chance they get to control pregnant people.

And Katie Cox out of Texas offers a heartbreaking look into how abortion ban exceptions don’t work, and how cruel and devastating the outcomes are.

Any abortion initiative must fully and completely remove politicians and their appointees from Missourians’ healthcare.

I encourage anyone volunteering to gather signatures for these efforts to ensure they understand which version they are working for. They are not all created equally.

You can read more at this link in the Missouri Independent, or below.

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Any abortion initiative on Missouri ballot must end political interference in medical care

The overturning of Roe vs Wade last year has created massive fallout, with abortion-rights advocates scrambling to react.

Voters in states like Kansas, Michigan and most recently Ohio have resoundingly supported ballot initiatives to protect abortion rights in their constitutions. Similar initiatives are being pursued in Florida, Arizona and my home state of Missouri. However they all have a troubling commonality: The attempt to reinstate Roe, a framework deemed insufficient by the very reproductive justice leaders now pushing these ballot initiatives.

I understand the results of political “compromise” on abortion all too well.

In 2016, I was in the 2nd trimester of a pregnancy I had deeply hoped for after expensive, physically demanding fertility treatments. But then we learned the new, devastating information that our baby had a fatal fetal condition. Given all of the information we had, and with counsel from an excellent medical team, we made the heartbreaking decision to terminate the pregnancy.

But then we learned we were fast approaching Missouri’s abortion ban, which at the time was 22 weeks. I also had to sign judgmental and biased non-medical consents and wait 72 hours to receive necessary medical care.

The weight of Missouri’s callous disregard for the complications of pregnancy, or my health and safety, felt heavy. I felt judged, stigmatized and disregarded. And this was all under the “protections” of Roe.

After my experience, I felt called to step into abortion-rights advocacy. I have shared my story at all levels of government and I joined local advocacy efforts in an effort to reduce stigma and create better policy.

Recently The Moth reshared a storytelling event where I told my whole story. To date, it has been viewed 1.5 million times. So I am confident my story has changed the hearts and minds of a lot of people and I’m grateful that I’ve been able to find some light from what was the darkest experience of my life.

However, my disappointment lies in how progressive advocates, Democrats and citizens often exploit stories like mine for fundraising and awareness but dismiss us when it comes to shaping crucial policies — especially with abortion being more popular than ever.

This hypocrisy reveals a disheartening betrayal of trust and a glaring disconnect between advocacy and genuine empowerment.

Missouri’s reproductive-rights advocates are currently championing ballot language that permits state interference post-arbitrary “viability” limits, which are medically inaccurate, dismiss individual circumstances like my own, and let politicians continue to tamper with our healthcare decisions.

Amid these initiatives, only one version stands as a “clean” solution, genuinely removing state entities from our reproductive rights. Advocates must focus on advancing this version exclusively, or, alternatively, clearly articulate a realistic plan to address the shortcomings of other versions, whether it be TRAP laws that would remain intact or people like me that would be left behind entirely.

Likewise, it’s crucial for those volunteering to collect signatures in support of a pro-abortion ballot initiative to be mindful of the diverse ballot language options — they are not all created equally. They should ensure they understand whether the final wording includes significant elements, such as abortion bans based on viability limits. These viability limits can and will be exploited by anti-abortion politicians.

In Ohio, GOP officials are already floating the unsubstantiated idea that viability starts at 15 weeks immediately after the resounding win for abortion rights.

The political landscape in Missouri, driven by the anti-abortion movement and powerful figures like Secretary of State Jay Ashcroft, gives us every reason to expect subversion of democracy and legal standards. Even when Roe was intact, abortion was practically inaccessible in Missouri. If a constitutional ballot is to be pursued, it must robustly protect the reproductive healthcare choices of Missourians from unreliable and undemocratic politicians.

We all know that when the pro-abortion majority gives a little, the anti-abortion minority takes all.

If Missouri’s stark reality isn’t compelling enough, cast a wider lens to witness the harrowing repercussions of politicians meddling in abortion access across multiple states.

Look to Texas: Kate Cox’s wrenching ordeal forced her to flee her own state, denied the right to terminate her wanted pregnancy after a fatal fetal diagnosis very similar to my own experience. Meanwhile, in Ohio, Brittany Watts faces a felony charge of abusing a corpse following a miscarriage at 22 weeks.

These distressing stories underscore the perilous outcomes when politicians dictate reproductive rights, inflicting anguish, injustice and severe harm upon individuals seeking autonomy over their own bodies.

History, and the present moment, demand a singular path forward — one of expansive protections rooted in science as well as the health, safety and dignity of all Missourians. Crucially, this includes abortion protections that entirely exclude elected officials from healthcare decisions, especially those concerning abortion care.

As someone who experienced firsthand the interference of state politicians in medical access and care, I stand far from alone. Urgency, despondency, and outrage have fueled my advocacy, but the solution does not lie in enshrining broken policies that leave behind those disproportionately impacted by abortion bans.

Missouri’s abortion patients and voters deserve better — a future where reproductive justice is not just a concept, but a lived reality.

Roe v. Wade: What You Can Do

Hi again, friends and family.

On May 2nd, Politico published a leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade. To be clear, at the moment, abortion is still legal and clinics are still open, it is not a final opinion. But this is really bad.

I am sending love to all of my pregnancy-capable friends, family and loved ones. I am also scared for our LGBTQIA friends whose marriages, healthcare and safety are also called into question by this draft opinion. It's bad and it's going to get worse.

You may want to know how to help. I am sharing some good information and resources here for those who are interested, with permission from a dear fellow advocate and ally who shared this with me.

What Will Happen Legally

If the Court's final decision looks anything like the leaked draft opinion, they'll overturn Roe, and abortion will be no longer protected at the federal level. States will be able to criminalize all abortion care.

26 states are then certain or very likely to completely ban abortion (see map below). This will result in an unprecedented public health crisis, on top of the one we already had going on, along with a rapid expansion of the criminalization of pregnant people.

What Will Happen In Your Communities, to People You Love

Abortion is a sensitive issue for a lot of people. There are strong feelings about what others should and shouldn't do, what's "reasonable" or too far in terms of laws. But we're not talking about feelings. This is about sending doctors to prison, about the government forcing people to submit to pregnancy and childbirth against their will.

We will not be returning to a pre-Roe scenario with "back-alley" abortions and coat hangers. Many abortion seekers will be able to self-manage their abortions using safe and effective FDA-approved medication abortion pills, even in hostile states. BUT, we also now have a much larger, more sophisticate law enforcement infrastructure that will surveil, prosecute, and punish people for abortions and pregnancy outcomes like miscarriages. In 2022, the risks are largely legal, not medical.

A lot of people will travel out-of-state, often hundreds of miles, to obtain an abortion in a clinic. Because 50 states worth of people will be trying to access care in the remaining half of states who haven't banned it, people will have to wait weeks or even months for an appointment. Everyone everywhere will have difficulty accessing timely abortion care. To put it in perspective, friends working at last-stop clinics are already reporting 3-5 week wait times just because of the ripple effects of a 6-week ban in Texas.

Most (75%) of abortion seekers are poor or low-income. Most (59%) are already parents. 1 in 4 pregnancy-capable people will have an abortion in their lifetime. You know and love people who have had abortions. If they haven't told you, consider whether you seem like a safe person to tell. Take that to heart and care enough to change.

What Can You Do?

The most impactful thing you can do at the moment is to donate money. I know, I know. If that isn't an option or if you want to do more, organize other people to donate money. The coolest among you will become monthly donors–even of a smaller amount, because it provides a stable cash flow for organizations which are largely volunteer-run.

Here's where it can go (bonus points if you do them all):

• Give to local abortion funds in your state who help abortion seekers pay for procedures, made by the Abortion Link Fairy @helmsinki.

• Give to practical support organizations, who help abortion seekers with travel, childcare, and other logistical needs.

• Give to independent clinics, who are not affiliated with Planned Parenthood, but provide 6 in 10 abortions in the U.S., including all abortion care later in pregnancy.

• Our current fave: Give to a new clinic in MD being started by two badass ladies, an OBGYN and a midwife, who will provide safe and compassionate care throughout pregnancy. They will be one of the closer clinics to the Southeast, and be a critical destination as bans sweep across those states. They need $$$!

• Share This: a cool guide @alisonturkos made with more ideas, options and info

• Offer to volunteer at a PSO, Fund, or your local clinic: Recently, someone I am close to volunteered to help a stranger from Texas traveling hundreds of miles away for care. They desperately needed someone local to check them in and out of a clinic. They were traveling alone and the clinic required a companion. It amounted to driving across town twice, not a big lift, but it meant that person could get the care they needed–it was potentially life-changing.

You'll note that none of the recommendations include giving to well-funded orgs like Planned Parenthood, starting your own thing when these networks exist or fighting with people on the internet. The informed advice is to prioritize mutual aid through local organizations.

Sure, But Then What?

You may be wondering what we can do to fix all of this? Surely somebody has a plan!

There's not much that can be done in the short-term other than helping people get care. There is no immediate political or legal solution due to the composure of the court, the makeup of the Senate, and GOP control of state governments. This will be our reality for a while.

The best we can do is really engage in state-level efforts, where abortion will be regulated (banned or protected): support the election of good state representatives, local prosecutors and judges who don't want to criminalize abortion care or pregnancy outcomes. Support efforts to protect voting rights. Encourage prosecutors not to go after pregnant people. To be clear, there is something to do in every state and not enough people doing it.

And finally, don't despair.

Get mad, get engaged, get organized, but focus on constructive actions.

In the words of the PIC abolitionist, Mariame Kaba:

"Let this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair."

If ever we need to have each other's backs, it's now.

Secretary of State Jay Ashcroft Blocking Missourians' Constitutional Rights

An Op Ed I wrote is in the St. Louis Post Dispatch today, discussing Secretary of State Jay Ashcroft’s unconstitutional delays making it impossible for Missourian’s to gather enough signatures to put abortion on the ballot, and let people vote on the issue.

The extreme abortion bill (House Bill 126) becomes effective next week,. It bans abortion after eight weeks with no exceptions for survivors of rape or incest, and certainly no exceptions for fetal anomalies like Grace’s. It’s utterly outrageous, and transparently shows that they want to control pregnant people, and want this to go to the Supreme Court.

I don’t know if I can express how hard it has been to watch our rights eroding around us after having our own abortion. We feel so strongly that we made the right decision for our desperately wanted daughter. Yet our lawmakers don’t care.

Jim and I repeatedly have testified both via correspondence and in person against bans like this, and our lawmakers don’t listen. They passed it anyway, despite us telling them what a horrible bill it is and how it’d hurt babies like Grace Pearl.

So we turned to the constitutional process next: Governor Parsons signing the bill into the law wasn’t the end: Missouri’s Constitution guarantees citizens the right to stop a new law from taking effect through the referendum process — a vote of the people. On May 28, the referendum process began. Under the Missouri Constitution, we should have had 90 days to collect 100,000 signatures in six different congressional districts. That isn’t what happened. Why? Because Secretary of State Jay Ashcroft chose to abuse the power of his office and join the race to ban safe, legal abortion in our state.

It is utterly unacceptable that Ashcroft is using his position to block the will of the people. His behavior is outrageous, manipulative and unconstitutional. Missourians deserve better, no matter where they stand on abortion. This is about protecting our constitutional rights.

You can read the full Op Ed here:

Robin Utz: Ashcroft's delay tactics defy Missourians' right to challenge abortion law

My husband Jim and I have been married for nine years, and we have wanted a baby more than anything. After four years of trying to conceive, including two rounds of in-vitro fertilization, three embryo transfers, a miscarriage and looking extensively into adoption, we finally got pregnant with our daughter, Grace Pearl.

Even if Kavanaugh Doesn't Vote to Overturn Roe, He Poses a Huge Threat to Abortion Access

This article in the New York Times gave a great illustration of what I worry could happen if Brett Kavanaugh is confirmed to the Supreme Court.

How a Supreme Court Shaped by Trump Could Restrict Access to Abortion

President Trump has pledged to appoint Supreme Court justices who will vote to overturn Roe v. Wade, the 1973 decision that established a constitutional right to abortion. Justice Anthony M. Kennedy was a cautious supporter of abortion rights.

As illustrated in the article, while Kavanaugh may respect Roe as settled law, he could vote with other justices to give more power back to the states. Missouri is an example of how we cannot afford to have that happen.

When I had my abortion in November 2016, there was only one Planned Parenthood in the state of Missouri. I had to wait 72 hours, and because of that, bumped up against the deadline in the state for how late I can get an abortion (21 weeks, 6 days, and I had my abortion at 21 weeks, 5 days). I had to sign awful consents and with all of that, still didn't hit all of the many abortion laws that Missouri has. Some of them have been ruled unconstitutional in other states.

If, as Senator Collins says, Brett Kavanaugh has said he'll respect Roe v. Wade as settled law, that doesn't meant that he'll not vote with other judges to give more and more power to states to decide what is legal or not. That is also very, very dangerous to women's rights and health.

Missouri is already a very difficult place to get an abortion, and that abortion will be granted with two heaping spoonfuls of judgement and a side of biased, flawed information. For example, the consents I had to sign didn't also discuss both the pros and cons of pregnancy - only those that presume a human life starts at conception (a belief that is not supported by the scientific community) and ignore facts like maternal mortality rate (the US has the highest rate outside of third world countries) and risk to the mother's health. If they were balanced, I'd respect them more.

We cannot afford to have our reproductive rights undermined any further; indeed, we need to be gaining rights back that have been taken from us from deeply conservative lawmakers that have shown, in my persona experience in reaching out to them and testifying next to them, to have no understand or desire to learn about what real women face. These laws are dangerous, ignorant and disrespectful. 

We need to ask our Senators to vote no on Kavanaugh because his confirmation would deeply threaten abortion access. It's what is right for our privacy, humanity and health. No one deserves to get to tell me what, legally, I am allowed to do if I find myself in a situation again like I did with Grace. Only I was in the room with all of the doctors, seeing the ultrasounds and hearing the diagnosis and odds of survival. To allow lawmakers that don't care about our circumstances to decide for us is blatantly wrong. 

Please call your Senators today and ask them to vote no on Kavanaugh.  You can find their contact information here.

Please Call Your Senators: Roe v Wade is About Personal Liberty, not Abortion.

I have been very busy in the land of advocacy lately, but unfortunately not as available here due to that. One thing I got to do that was very rewarding was speak at the Unite for Justice event:

It was a huge honor to share Grace's story as well as hear the other speakers explaining why Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation to the Supreme Court and subsequent votes could threaten our rights. 

I read this article recently and it really captured one of my biggest concerns: 

Roe v Wade isn't about abortion - it's about personal liberty. A government that can tell us we cannot have an abortion can also tell us that we must have one. 

That's an inappropriate and terrifying amount of responsibility to give the government, and I can tell you from my experience, their judgments and decisions do not match the circumstances we find ourselves facing. Please read and call your Senators and ask that they vote no on Kavanaugh. Even Senators that you think have already decided - I am hearing that they are hearing far more from people that are for Kavanaugh than against. 

Opinion | Remember a woman's right not to have an abortion

Regarding the Aug. 22 news article " Sen. Collins says Kavanaugh sees Roe as 'settled'  ": Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) is described as "a centrist who supports abortion rights." If she votes to confirm Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, she will have exposed that reputation as a sham.

Could Abortion Become Illegal In The U.S.? Our Story on 1A - Listen Here and Ask Me Anything

Grace's story including learning about her fetal anomaly, our decision to abort, and how it felt navigating Missouri's restrictive abortion laws was included on NPR's 1A show this morning. You can listen here:

Could Abortion Become Illegal In The U.S.? - 1A

New restrictions in some conservative states are urging a high court battle over a woman's right to an abortion.

I wanted to offer up to anyone visiting for this reason: if you have ANY questions, please feel free to ask! I am a pretty open book. This really happened to us, this really is the decision we felt 100% was right for us, and it absolutely continues to happen to women and families around the country. I know you might be coming here as a person against abortion and very uncomfortable with it, and I get that. I really do. But it also is true that our story really happened, and the laws need to acknowledge people like us. 

Please feel free to ask me any questions, or send any comments here, on our Facebook, or Twitter. 

Thanks for listening, considering our story, and for really considering this very, very nuanced and difficult topic.