A Midterms Voting Guide with Grace Pearl In Mind

Photo by Parker Johnson on Unsplash

I have pulled together a voter guide for the upcoming midterms on November 6, 2018 that would focus on candidates and issues that would allow us the best possible rights to make the choice we did with Grace Pearl. I am focusing in Missouri because that is where I am most familiar with the candidates and issues, but for wherever you are, I ask that you take reproductive rights into account when choosing a candidate, and how much the individual will do to protect rights of families like mine.

People run into situations like mine every day, in every state. We deserve to be able to make the best choices for ourselves and our families without undue burden in terms of cost, geographical restriction, and time frame. If you vote for a candidate that is against reproductive rights, know you are voting to hurt babies like Grace and women and men like myself and Jim. There’s no way around that.

I’ll take this chance to say we also deserve honest, comprehensive medical care, not places that will blatantly lie to us like Crisis Pregnancy Centers. Please learn more about them here.

Important Voting Information:

The Missouri ballot is huge for the midterms, so I will only be listing out the things I’m best educated on, and then resources for the other issues.

✔️ Polling places will be open from 6 am until 7 pm
✔️ If you are unsure of your polling place, you can look it up here: https://bit.ly/2fg5NRR
✔️ You will be required to show a form of ID at the polls. See acceptable forms of ID here: https://bit.ly/2OdbZba

DO NOT LEAVE A POLLING PLACE WITHOUT VOTING —call this non partisan election hotline (1-866-OUR-VOTE) if you have any voting issues.

Now to the voter guide resources:

I’m going to go over my own personal recommendations, where I have them, in the next section. However I just don’t know enough about every issue to make an educated assessment, especially when the ballot is this long. So here’s what I do/resources I use:

• The League of Women Voters has a great resource at vote411.org. You type in your address & get a personalized ballot with info on each candidate/issue. I go through this list and select each item, and print it off at the end to take with me to vote. PRINT IT OFF OR WRITE IT DOWN in case you can’t look at your phone while voting. Many places ban phones in the polling area.

• For issues where I do not have an established opinion yet, I have trusted sources I use. They include:

  • ProgressWomen - Representative Stacey Newman puts a LOT of effort into her recommendations, and I value her opinion. She has also covered all Missouri AND county propositions, so this is a comprehensive resource.

  • Planned Parenthood MO voting guide - Planned Parenthood has protections of reproductive rights at top of mind, and this voting guide is consistent with that.

  • NARAL voting guide - they likewise carefully vet for pro-choice candidates and issues.

• You can see the Missouri Bar recommendations for each judge on the ballot on vote411 while you’re selecting the rest of your ballot. It will tell you each judge and their recommendation, and you can research more from there. There are a few that are not recommended for retention.

My Personal Recommendations/Endorsements:

• US Senator: Claire McCaskill. I am with many people in feeling that I wish McCaskill were different in some ways, but she has a solid voting record in terms of reproductive rights, and that means a lot to me. Additionally, I am terrified of what electing Josh Hawley would do to all sorts of social rights, including reproductive rights, and he is currently promising that pre-existing conditions will be protected as part of healthcare while entering Missouri into a lawsuit to undo the Affordable Care Act (which would undo the protections of pre-existing conditions). He’s blatantly lying to us.

• U.S. Representative, District 2: Cort VanOstran. I actually am not able to vote for Cort as I am not in his district, but I have still spend many volunteer hours pushing out awareness around him and encouraging people to vote for him because his incumbent oppoent, Ann Wagner, is THAT BAD. She’s pro-life all the way down the line, and would absolutely vote to hurt Grace, Jim and myself. Cort is endorsed by NARAL and Planned Parenthood Action Fund, which goes a long way with me. These organizations support our right to make the choice we did, and fight for laws that protect us.

• State Auditor: Nicole Galloway. I saw Nicole speak at an event and was very impressed by her. She has done this job since 2015 and has done an outstanding job, as reiterated by the St. Louis Post Dispatch.

• State Representative, District 91: If you are in Sarah Unsicker’s district, I recommend her as a representative that is on the Children and Families House Committee and has fought for reproductive Rights

• State Representative, District 80: If you are Peter Meredith’s district, I recommend voting for him. I find him to be thoughtful, transparent, hard fighting and compassionate. He was hoping to propose a bill last year that would include infertility treatments in insurance coverage, which would be transformative for families like mine.

• Amendment #1 (aka CLEAN MISSOURI) = VOTE YES. I have personally worked on this campaign because I believe SO STRONGLY in it. It bans lobbyist gifts to General Assembly, requires open legislative records, lowers campaign contributions & limits committee donations, requires 2 year lobbyist waiting periods and ensures a non-partisan district map process (aka, limits gerrymandering, making sure our votes matter more). This is super important. VOTE YES. If you vote for nothing else, vote for this one. But vote for everything.  More info at CleanMissouri.org 

• YES on Proposition B – Increases the Minimum Wage to $12 by 2023. St. Louis Post Dispatch endorsement HERE. There are a lot of reasons that I agree with this, but in terms of reproductive rights, if you’re not aware, the Hyde Amendment prevents abortions from being covered by federal funds. If we want women to be able to exercise their reproductive rights asap in an unwanted pregnancy, they have to have the funds to do so. Economic equality is very important to me.

These are the issues that I am most comfortable making endorsements on, and I’m always learning more so if you feel I’m wrong about any of them, please reach out!

The Moth Mainstage at the Wilbur in Boston - 10/18/18

I will be sharing my story as part of The Moth Mainstage event tomorrow evening (Thursday, October 18th) at the Wilbur Theater in Boston, MA. Tickets are sold out, but if you’re there, send me a hug! This will be my first time sharing in front of so many people and I’m nervous, but grateful for the opportunity to share our story.

I’ll tweet as much as I can about it too!

Kavanaugh Doesn't Respect Roe v Wade as Settled Law. Call Your Senators!

Today (September 6, 2018) during judge Brett Kavanaugh's Senate confirmation hearings for the Supreme Court, Senator Cory Booker leaked committee docs show where Kavanaugh says Roe can be overturned.

As Booker stated, he immediately released the documents, which can be reviewed here: Booker Releases Committee Confidential Documents Related to Yesterday’s Testimony. Of particular note in these records is the following piece of information, where  when Kavanaugh was acting as a White House lawyer in the Bush administration, he challenged the accuracy of deeming the Supreme Court’s landmark Roe v. Wade abortion rights decision to be “settled law of the land”:

This is terrifying. Kavanaugh is clear with his feelings on Roe. If Roe v. Wade is overturned, women will die, our basic dignity and humanity to autonomously make our own choices about our live's paths and destiny will be eliminated, and abortion rates won't actually go down. In fact, babies like Grace will 100% suffer. 

Here are a few actions to take:  

• Please call the Senate Judiciary Committee at 202-224-5225. 

“I'm calling to demand that the committee commit to a transparent and thorough review of all of Supreme Court justice nominee Brett Kavanaugh's extensive body of work before referring his nomination to the full Senate.”

• Please call your Senators to ask them to vote no on Kavanaugh due to his obvious intent to undermine or undo Roe v Wade, which is established law. You can find your Senator's contact information here. 

"Hi, my name is ___ and I am a constituent from [city, state, zip code].

I am calling to demand that [Senator] oppose Brett Kavanaugh's nomination to the Supreme Court due to this his history of ruling against reproductive rights. I have a friend that had to end a desperately wanted pregnancy at 22 weeks due to a fatal fetal anomaly, and she wouldn't be able to do this if Roe v Wade were overturned, which I believe Kavanaugh would vote to do. Women should not have to fear that their reproductive rights or access to birth control could be removed by adding Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. 

Thank you for your hard work, time and attention. 

[Name]"
[If leaving voicemail, leave full street address to ensure your call is tallied].

• Call Corey Booker and thank him. (202) 224-3224.

Even if Kavanaugh Doesn't Vote to Overturn Roe, He Poses a Huge Threat to Abortion Access

This article in the New York Times gave a great illustration of what I worry could happen if Brett Kavanaugh is confirmed to the Supreme Court.

How a Supreme Court Shaped by Trump Could Restrict Access to Abortion

President Trump has pledged to appoint Supreme Court justices who will vote to overturn Roe v. Wade, the 1973 decision that established a constitutional right to abortion. Justice Anthony M. Kennedy was a cautious supporter of abortion rights.

As illustrated in the article, while Kavanaugh may respect Roe as settled law, he could vote with other justices to give more power back to the states. Missouri is an example of how we cannot afford to have that happen.

When I had my abortion in November 2016, there was only one Planned Parenthood in the state of Missouri. I had to wait 72 hours, and because of that, bumped up against the deadline in the state for how late I can get an abortion (21 weeks, 6 days, and I had my abortion at 21 weeks, 5 days). I had to sign awful consents and with all of that, still didn't hit all of the many abortion laws that Missouri has. Some of them have been ruled unconstitutional in other states.

If, as Senator Collins says, Brett Kavanaugh has said he'll respect Roe v. Wade as settled law, that doesn't meant that he'll not vote with other judges to give more and more power to states to decide what is legal or not. That is also very, very dangerous to women's rights and health.

Missouri is already a very difficult place to get an abortion, and that abortion will be granted with two heaping spoonfuls of judgement and a side of biased, flawed information. For example, the consents I had to sign didn't also discuss both the pros and cons of pregnancy - only those that presume a human life starts at conception (a belief that is not supported by the scientific community) and ignore facts like maternal mortality rate (the US has the highest rate outside of third world countries) and risk to the mother's health. If they were balanced, I'd respect them more.

We cannot afford to have our reproductive rights undermined any further; indeed, we need to be gaining rights back that have been taken from us from deeply conservative lawmakers that have shown, in my persona experience in reaching out to them and testifying next to them, to have no understand or desire to learn about what real women face. These laws are dangerous, ignorant and disrespectful. 

We need to ask our Senators to vote no on Kavanaugh because his confirmation would deeply threaten abortion access. It's what is right for our privacy, humanity and health. No one deserves to get to tell me what, legally, I am allowed to do if I find myself in a situation again like I did with Grace. Only I was in the room with all of the doctors, seeing the ultrasounds and hearing the diagnosis and odds of survival. To allow lawmakers that don't care about our circumstances to decide for us is blatantly wrong. 

Please call your Senators today and ask them to vote no on Kavanaugh.  You can find their contact information here.

Please Call Your Senators: Roe v Wade is About Personal Liberty, not Abortion.

I have been very busy in the land of advocacy lately, but unfortunately not as available here due to that. One thing I got to do that was very rewarding was speak at the Unite for Justice event:

It was a huge honor to share Grace's story as well as hear the other speakers explaining why Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation to the Supreme Court and subsequent votes could threaten our rights. 

I read this article recently and it really captured one of my biggest concerns: 

Roe v Wade isn't about abortion - it's about personal liberty. A government that can tell us we cannot have an abortion can also tell us that we must have one. 

That's an inappropriate and terrifying amount of responsibility to give the government, and I can tell you from my experience, their judgments and decisions do not match the circumstances we find ourselves facing. Please read and call your Senators and ask that they vote no on Kavanaugh. Even Senators that you think have already decided - I am hearing that they are hearing far more from people that are for Kavanaugh than against. 

Opinion | Remember a woman's right not to have an abortion

Regarding the Aug. 22 news article " Sen. Collins says Kavanaugh sees Roe as 'settled'  ": Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) is described as "a centrist who supports abortion rights." If she votes to confirm Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, she will have exposed that reputation as a sham.

1A Rebuttal: A Crisis Pregnancy Center Director's Advice for Me Was Biased, Deceitful and Dangerous

2 weeks ago I was on NPR's 1A show, sharing my story about Grace Pearl and ending our wanted pregnancy (I start off the show). Barbara Chisko, the executive director of Birth Choice Oklahoma (a Crisis Pregnancy Center) was asked to comment on my story (her comments start at the 13 minute mark). Because I was not live on air and therefore unable to respond to her comments, I asked to publish a rebuttal. You can read that halfway down the page here, or in full text right here: 

A Rebuttal From Robin Utz

This show presented three stories, each on their own, as a way of representing the state of abortion in America today. One was the story of Robin in Missouri, one was the story of a clinic escort in Kentucky, and the third was the owner of a crisis pregnancy center in Ohio.

We didn’t want the show to be a debate on abortion, but rather an examination of the legal challenges and limited access women face across the country. There are restraints on how much detail and debate can fit into any live show like 1A, but Barbara Chisko — the owner of the pregnancy center — was asked to comment on Robin’s situation, and whether she would advise a woman who came to her center to get an abortion.

“I had the same option, and I chose to have my baby,” Barbara said. “It’s a decision she had to make, and I understand her grief.”  (Hear the full exchange here)

Robin, who is now a reproductive rights advocate and author of Defending Grace, a website dedicated to sharing her daughter’s story and the story of ending her wanted pregnancy, was not on the show at the same time and therefore not able to respond on-air to this statement. She reached out afterward and asked for the chance to write a rebuttal. Here’s what she had to say:

This episode featured our story about ending our very wanted pregnancy with our daughter, Grace Pearl, after learning she had a fatal fetal anomaly. Barbara Chishko, who serves as Executive Director of Birth Choice Oklahoma, was also a guest on the show for the segment. We did not appear on air together. Our story starts the show, and you can hear her segment starting at the 13-minute mark. Barbara was asked to comment on my story and situation, and my response to her is captured here. But first, a little context:

Barbara’s organization, Birth Choice Oklahoma, is what is known as a crisis pregnancy center. Crisis Pregnancy Centers are unregulated anti-choice organizations, often affiliated with Christian organizations, that advise women against getting abortions, but sometimes appear from the outside to be legitimate reproductive health care providers. While posing as legitimate reproductive health providers, these organizations are known to not want women to have abortions, use birth control, or for unmarried women to have sex. Yet many are not upfront about this agenda.

Despite Barbara saying that Birth Choice  Oklahoma is not connected to a church or ministry, the website reveals that it was started (by her) in a Methodist church. Barbara said that Birth Choice Oklahoma verifies pregnancy, provides ultrasounds, and offers prenatal care, and offers alternatives to abortion services. In fact, centers like Birth Choice Oklahoma are known for luring women in with these promises and posing as regulated and unbiased, while instead sharing physical and psychological lies aimed at persuading women to avoid abortions. Barbara doesn’t mention that these centers are very rarely run by trained and licensed medical staff, but instead are run by volunteers in lab coats, imitating doctors. Yes, really.

If all of that wasn’t outrageous enough, crisis pregnancy centers are as legally protected as they are unregulated. They receive sizable tax credits (over $4.3 million dollars in Missouri in 2017, taken from TANF, a federal block grant that should be used to feed hungry children), while licensed medical facilities that provide abortions like Planned Parenthood are being subjected to threats of defunding (despite the Hyde Amendment making federal funding going towards abortions illegal) and now, President Trump’s gag rule. It’s truly stunning and infuriating. These crisis pregnancy centers exaggerate and lie to women, endanger their health and don’t provide women with all the facts as they make their own healthcare decisions, yet they go unregulated and incentivized.

When asked about my story specifically (in other words, how would a crisis pregnancy center handle a woman learning that her very wanted pregnancy will end in the child suffering immense pain and death), Barbara said she feels all women should be required to talk to women in crisis pregnancy centers when deciding what to do with reproductive care, and that she’d have advised me not to have an abortion. I was disappointed, and it revealed how untrustworthy her opinion and perspective is.

The first reason is that we simply didn’t have time. Missouri has a 72-hour waiting period to get an abortion once the consents have been signed. We had the abortion one day before we legally couldn’t any longer (at 21 weeks 6 days) because of this. Had I talked to a crisis pregnancy center, we would have run out of time to give our daughter a peaceful passing. Indeed, delaying decisions to make abortions harder to obtain is a key tactic used by these centers.

Barbara empathized with my husband’s and my situation of learning that our pregnancy was not viable at 21 weeks. She noted that she herself had a pregnancy end in the fetus’s death at 7.5 months and had to continue carrying the pregnancy until birth. While Barbara’s circumstances are absolutely a terrible tragedy and something I cringe to even consider, they are absolutely not the same circumstances as what my husband and I faced, and to say so is a false equivalency.

In sharing her story, Barbara did not disclose the circumstances surrounding the loss of her unborn child except to say that she was seven and a half months pregnant at the time the child died. In contrast, my husband and I learned about our greatly anticipated daughter’s unavoidable demise while we still could do something to avoid her immense pain. We couldn’t save her life, but we could keep her from needlessly suffering. This is a critical difference that Barbara doesn’t acknowledge, perhaps because it would force her to acknowledge that abortion has a valid place in compassionate medical care where she has found ways to abolish abortion from acceptability in every other scenario she has ever considered.

When we were presented with the information that our daughter was still alive, but that allowing her to continue growing and developing would lead to a painful death upon birth, fully developed except with no lungs or kidneys, we felt it would be utterly cruel to continue the pregnancy and put our daughter through that. We were devastated, but grateful to have an avenue to pursue a peaceful passing for her. And that’s what she got. Our caring and compassionate doctors assured us that they’d cut the umbilical cord prior to Grace’s procedure to ensure she’d pass knowing only the love and warmth of my body, and I listened to the playlist my husband made just for her just in case she could hear it.

This is what was right for us. Barbara Chisko says that they see a lot of women that regret their abortions, but in widely sharing my story over the past year and a half, I have yet to meet one myself I certainly don’t regret the choice we made — losing Grace is the heartbreak of my life — but I would have an abortion again in a heartbeat to save her from unnecessary pain and suffering. My Catholic-raised husband feels the same way.

In contrast to the care the crisis medical centers provide, the doctors we worked with in diagnosing and aborting Grace (the same doctors that serve Planned Parenthood of St. Louis) were everything you’d want out of medical professionals and advisors. We received comprehensive, compassionate, attentive medical care and advice. All of our questions were answered. We were given all of the resources we requested (including grief counselors, options for our daughter’s remains, and medical facts around risks and experience not just to Grace, but me as well). They discussed not just the risks of the abortion (low), but the risks I’d incur if I continued the pregnancy (sevenfold — something a crisis pregnancy center wouldn’t likely cover, but is very real). We were treated with great care, expertise and sympathy. Yet Planned Parenthood is the organization that people want to defund.

It’s irresponsible and truly dangerous to give Barbara Chisko and crisis pregnancy centers the same platform and audience as those that provide care without judgment, falsehoods and bias. While I appreciate Barbara’s kind words regarding our loss, she’d still choose to expose us to her faith-based propaganda rather than truly supporting us, and Grace would have been the ultimate victim. While others in our situation might not do what we did, I struggle to find anyone that truly disagrees with our decision even if it makes them uncomfortable. Abortion was the best choice we had out of truly terrible options. The reality of this, including the fact that pregnancy complications don’t happen on a prescribed timeline during pregnancy and are unavoidable, helps expose just how biased and dangerous crisis pregnancy centers are. If they wouldn’t give us the appropriate advice and care for our situation, how can they for anyone? Women and families deserve facts, credentialed medical professionals, safe reproductive health care and unbiased support while making decisions. That is the exact opposite of what Barbara Chisko, Birth Choice Oklahoma, and any of the 2,700 crisis pregnancy centers in this country provide.