The Moth Presents: A Point of Beauty (Including Grace's Story!)

I am beyond proud to announce that the Moth’s latest anthology is released today (March 19, 2024) and my story is included!

A Point of Beauty: True Stories of Holding On and Letting Go is the Moth’s latest anthology of true stories, adapted for the written page, about finding real beauty in the moments when our lives changed forever—for better or worse. I am so thrilled to be featured alongside these incredible storytellers!

This really is a dream come true for me; I hope you’ll pick up your copy wherever books are sold!

Australian Broadcasting Corporation's "Foreign Correspondent" - A Right to Choose

Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s “Foreign Correspondent” - A Right to Choose featured our story as part of their episode how the abortion landscape in Missouri and Illinois represents the tug of war over abortion rights that is happening right now in the United States of America.

I wanted to welcome people that arrived to our site to learn more about our story, and share some additional information:

• I am Robin Utz, and I have been married to my husband Jim for nearly 11 happy years. We live in St. Louis, Missouri.

• We tried for four years including two rounds of IVF and a prior miscarriage before becoming pregnant with our daughter Grace Pearl. But at her 20 week anatomy scan, we learned that she had a fatal fetal diagnosis, and would die upon birth. We chose a later abortion , sometimes called a termination for medical reasons (TFMR), rather than continuing the pregnancy and risking stillbirth, or choosing palliative care.

• Obtaining our abortion was one of the most insulting, degrading experiences of my life simply because the Missouri state laws are designed to be judgemental and full of unnecessary delays and hurdles. You can learn more about them here and here, and because of them, I started telling my story more, both so people would know one reason that a person might obtain a later abortion, and also so people could know how terribly these laws treat people.

• In the nearly five years since my abortion, I have learned that my situation and story is actually is not that rare; it’s that the stigma around talking about abortion is so deep, it’s hard to find storytellers willing to expose themselves to the misplaced criticism, judgment and condemnation from people that don’t walk in their shoes, or worse, would want to punish us anyway.

• My husband and I now have a two year old living child after seven total years of trying and several additional infertility treatments. Her name is Hannah, after her sister Grace, and she is utterly delightful.

You can find some of the most helpful links to information here:

• About Grace's disease

• Why Missouri’s timelines and consents are a big deal

• Why we didn’t choose palliative care for Grace

• The farewell Dance Party story and playlist

• My elected official looked at his phone and ignored me while I testified

• Our story in the Washington Post

• The Moth Podcast (with pregnancy announcement)

• Hannah’s Birth Announcement

• BBC Newshour Interview

• Why Missouri’s timelines and consents are a big deal

Announcement: Planned Parenthood's National Speaker Bureau

Hi friends. I'm sorry that I have been missing in action. I keep coming back to update Defending Grace, but it has already been a hell of a year.

I'm going to make a post about that later this week. I'll tell you what we've been up to, what's coming next, and so on. We're not light on updates, fortunately or unfortunately. It depends on which day you ask me.

But for today, I have an announcement that I am extremely proud of. I am have been selected to be a member of Planned Parenthood's inaugural National Speaker's Bureau, and additionally I am serving as the Vice President of the Leadership subcommittee. 

This is a huge validation of the work I am doing and want to do in the future: encouraging people to share their stories and dispel incorrect assumptions and stigma. I am also utterly thrilled to be part of a cohort of other women sharing their stories about how Planned Parenthood has helped provide the fundamental health care we need and deserve, without the intervention of politicians, and to spend time working with others like me and with perspectives like mine. I didn't ask for Grace's pregnancy to happen the way it did, and I don't believe that we made the wrong decision when we were presented with our worst nightmare. There is no going back in who I am now and why I am this way. My story is not up for interpretation or dispute: it is my LIFE. This reality creates some lonely times for me, and having my perspective and the validity of it be validated, honored and respected feels wonderful. Being able to do this for others, and to greet their experiences and stories with curiosity and learning is a gift I can give in return.

You can watch the announcement, and see many of my cohort members surrounding the speakers, here.

Welcome, Washington Post and Chicago Tribune readers!

Thank you so, so much to everyone that's visiting our page.

Most are coming with messages of love and compassion and I couldn't be more grateful, humbled and appreciative.

But if you're here because you disagree, or aren't sure how you feel about our story, that's ok too. I just ask that you be curious and open minded. I may not convince you, and that's ok. I just want us to treat each other like humans and to learn from each other. We're real people. Not just words coming across your screen. Just like you're a real person too. 

On that note, this is us: 

View fullsize

A little about us: Jim and I have been together for 8 years, and have been married for 6. We love riding bikes, our two spoiled cats (Elliot and Biloxi, the latter a Hurricane Katrina foster kitten that I ended up keeping and who now rules the household). We also love our friends and family, and music (Jim actually works in the music industry). In fact, we had a dance party of songs that Jim had always wanted to teach Grace about the night before her termination as a way to celebrate her far-to-brief life, and say goodbye. I'll share the playlist soon. We couldn't wait to raise our baby girl to explore music, reading and travel, and to just see how her personality revealed itself.

I'll be posting more blogs in the coming days talking about some comments I'm seeing (for example, noting that I call Grace a baby in my Op Ed, and what my stance is on that) and so on. But for now I wanted to share a little bit more about ourselves.

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