Australian Broadcasting Corporation's "Foreign Correspondent" - A Right to Choose

Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s “Foreign Correspondent” - A Right to Choose featured our story as part of their episode how the abortion landscape in Missouri and Illinois represents the tug of war over abortion rights that is happening right now in the United States of America.

I wanted to welcome people that arrived to our site to learn more about our story, and share some additional information:

• I am Robin Utz, and I have been married to my husband Jim for nearly 11 happy years. We live in St. Louis, Missouri.

• We tried for four years including two rounds of IVF and a prior miscarriage before becoming pregnant with our daughter Grace Pearl. But at her 20 week anatomy scan, we learned that she had a fatal fetal diagnosis, and would die upon birth. We chose a later abortion , sometimes called a termination for medical reasons (TFMR), rather than continuing the pregnancy and risking stillbirth, or choosing palliative care.

• Obtaining our abortion was one of the most insulting, degrading experiences of my life simply because the Missouri state laws are designed to be judgemental and full of unnecessary delays and hurdles. You can learn more about them here and here, and because of them, I started telling my story more, both so people would know one reason that a person might obtain a later abortion, and also so people could know how terribly these laws treat people.

• In the nearly five years since my abortion, I have learned that my situation and story is actually is not that rare; it’s that the stigma around talking about abortion is so deep, it’s hard to find storytellers willing to expose themselves to the misplaced criticism, judgment and condemnation from people that don’t walk in their shoes, or worse, would want to punish us anyway.

• My husband and I now have a two year old living child after seven total years of trying and several additional infertility treatments. Her name is Hannah, after her sister Grace, and she is utterly delightful.

You can find some of the most helpful links to information here:

• About Grace's disease

• Why Missouri’s timelines and consents are a big deal

• Why we didn’t choose palliative care for Grace

• The farewell Dance Party story and playlist

• My elected official looked at his phone and ignored me while I testified

• Our story in the Washington Post

• The Moth Podcast (with pregnancy announcement)

• Hannah’s Birth Announcement

• BBC Newshour Interview

• Why Missouri’s timelines and consents are a big deal

Our First Christmas Eve with a Living Child

Today, as a little Christmas gift of sorts, Hannah learned how to clap and army crawl. We are filled with wonder every day as we watch her learn and grow.

And of course, we miss her sister and wonder so many what ifs, even though we'd make the same decision over and over again if we were faced with it. We wish she hadn't been sick.

And as people with infertility, we are acutely aware that there are so many people out there still longing for their families to grow.

We said goodbye to Grace right before Thanksgiving 3 years ago, and are also acutely aware of how hard holidays can be. We have future years that will likely be very very hard for us, after we say goodbye to our parents, for instance. A few friends are facing their first holidays without their fathers this year and it's utterly heartbreaking.

But for us, after 6 years if trying, this holiday season is overwhelmingly a good one, and we are so, so grateful.

Whatever you celebrate (our own beliefs have shifted a lot over the past few years), we hope you feel at least a little love and peace.

BBC Newshour Interview on Missouri Abortion Ban - Listen Here

I posted a link to my BBC Newshour interview about Missouri’s 8 week abortion ban, noting it was at the 37:30 mark. It is now available to listen to directly here.

Please listen and share - it provides a great context on what the 8 week abortion ban means for Missourians and the overall goal of bans such as these.